Full of self doubt but going through the motions

I started this blog to document the process of setting up my glass studio, to share my experiences with others who might be interested in studio glass, and to provide content of value, hoping to build a tribe of followers who might be interested in my work.  I enjoy reading “howto” type blogs, and I’ve run into so many people who have never heard of lampworking and fused glass that I felt there might be a place for a blog like this.

What hit me today is how little I know.  I’m aware I’m just starting out, and I’ve done some pieces I’m happy with, but when I see the work of artists like Ali VandeGrift, Frank Miguletz, Wesley Fleming, Susan Schroeder and Daniela Imre I just want to chuck it all and get a job at Lowe’s.  I know they’ve been at it longer than I have, I know it’s not a contest, I know there’s room for all of us, and I know I’ll find my own style, and I’m 100% better than I was a year ago, but It’s like being third trumpet in the remedial band and listening to Wynton or Miles.  Man, I’ve got a long way to go!

I spent time in the studio in spite of my mood, and it was brutal.  It’s in the 50’s here, which isn’t that cold, but my shop has poor insulation, small space heaters and a concrete floor.  I had on wool socks, boots, jeans, a long sleeved shirt, t-shirt and fleece lined canvas shirt, and I was freezing.  If suffering for your art is the key I’ll be the Picasso of glass in no time, because when I broke for lunch I couldn’t feel my feet.  But I’m glad I did it, because I made some more hearts for Valentine’s earrings, some more bees for pendants, and several floral hearts that I think will turn out well.  And one ivory glass heart with silver rich frit that I suspect will be the ugliest bead I’ve ever made.  We’ll see when I take them out of the kiln tomorrow–tonight it’s Chicago Blues and an inch of Black Grouse.

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